My One Friend

It was hard to see them at first, even after noticing my One Friend. But it did not take long to learn how to recognize them amidst the crowd. Such intense eyes stare out towards me and perhaps it is my own foolish perception, but I when I look into them, all I see is longing. They were like me. I could them wanting something so badly and knowing full well that it was something they could never have.

I took comfort in that.

Even with how my One Friend appeared to me, it was difficult to be afraid, difficult to be angry, I could not even feel confusion creep into me as I stared back. I felt relief to know of someone like this, to know that even if I wanted to, I could not be alone.

And I won't be alone, ever again. I do not wish to return there in any case. Even if this one leaves me here with no understanding of what I am to do here, I prefer it. But such a sentence implies that it is possible to isolate myself in such a way, no. If I were to hide away somewhere, I am always found eventually and when I am, that stare they give me, seems to grow harder... Those eyes gazing at me with such an intense longing towards me, as if they themselves would be the ones to take hold of me and take me to some unknown plane.

My One Friend.

They don't exist in one place, nor are they always by my side, but rather, my One Friend is always around me. Not here in their own form, but instead, borrowing those of which already possess one. The people that surround me. As I move through the crowds on the outside, perhaps it would be the child that turns to stare at me, or one of those teenagers loitering outside of a store. They have no recollection of my One Friend's presence. That makes it easier I think.

Visiting my father seems pointless now as only my One Friend inhabits that house now. But that's okay, or rather... It's been okay for a long while. Longer than I wish to think about.

It's hard to catch them out, they know how to hide and I was grateful for that. They were my secret and even if they could blend in when they desired, I knew they were there, my One Friend... Sharing my pain, I was so sure that they were sharing my pain with me. 

That gaze, so full of longing.